And the Coffee Will Set You Free
by Cheshire6845
Summary: A lighter fare that includes a misunderstanding, a lot of clarification, JC, a little big of angst, a little bit of fluff, and of course coffee.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Paramount and TPTB. The plot is the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Warning: Rated PG for some mild language.

Comments: In this part of my world, C/7 never happened, Joe Carey didn't die, Neelix didn't leave the ship, and B'Elanna isn't pregnant yet. A huge THANK YOU to Moof for being a wonderful Beta.

_Italics indicates thoughts or flashbacks_

And the Coffee Will Set You Free

_'Coffee is really going to be my undoing one of these days_,' Kathryn thought to herself as she tried to find a more comfortable sitting position. She had a throbbing headache, and all the muscles in her back were aching from the pounding she'd taken. She wondered vaguely how many times this could happen to one person. How many times on the way home could she regain consciousness in an alien prison cell on some previously unknown planet hoping Voyager would rescue her? She knew one thing. It happened all too often.

The circumstances leading up to these situations always seemed to start out the same way. Voyager would be running low on supplies. So, they would seek out a planet where they could make a trade agreement. The aliens they met would seem peaceful and the planet would appear harmless. These factors combined would encourage Janeway's senior officers to suggest that she take shore leave. Then at some point after she left the ship, everything would go to hell in a hand basket. 'A_t least this time I managed to get a good cup of coffee_.'

The Day Before

"Welcome aboard Voyager gentlemen," Janeway said as she and Chakotay greeted the new arrivals in the transporter room.

"Captain Janeway, it's nice to meet you in person," The Hekorian representative said stepping off the platform. "A viewscreen does not do you or your ship justice."

Janeway smiled slightly at the obvious flattery and gestured towards the doors, _'I should be the one doing the flattering. My ship needs the supplies you have to offer not the other way around.'_

She voiced none of these thoughts, however, and instead she said, "Minister, our Mr. Neelix has prepared a dinner for us in the mess hall."

"We are delighted to join you, Captain. Please, call me Jakal," The leader of the group said following Janeway out the door and into the corridor.

"If you enjoy leola root as much as you say," Chakotay spoke up unable to hide the bewilderment in his voice as they entered the turbolift. "I'm sure you'll find the evening's fare most agreeable."

Janeway ducked her head to hide the smile on her face at her first officer's comment. Minister Jakal missed the small exchange between the command team and commented, "Your tale is remarkable, Captain, but are you certain you want to trade your stores of leola root for the simple foodstuffs we have to offer?"

"Yes." The command team responded simultaneously.

While the guests thoroughly enjoyed the leola root lasagna, the command team merely pushed their dinner around their plates and made polite conversation. Captain Janeway brightened considerably when Neelix brought the after dinner coffee. _'Now this is the part of dinner I can enjoy.'_

Minister Jakal watched as the human woman wrapped her hands around the mug and inhaled the steaming aroma emanating from it. He was intrigued. She hadn't even taken a sip of the drink and yet he could tell it seemed to have a soothing effect on her. He simply had to ask, "What is that you're drinking?"

Janeway looked up and smiled, "We call it coffee. It's a hot drink traditionally made from roasted beans. It's delicious."

Janeway paused when Chakotay began coughing.

"Sorry Captain," He grinned from behind his napkin. "I just needed to clear my throat. Please continue."

She raised an eyebrow in his direction before turning back to Jakal, "Coffee is an acquired taste. The drink also has a natural energy stimulant in it that some people find useful. Would you care to try some?"

Jakal accepted a mug from Neelix and tried it. Janeway waited for a grimace but the Minister just licked his lips, "This tastes very similar to our Kuava."

"Kuava?" Chakotay asked with trepidation sensing Kathryn's growing interest. _'If she has to fly Voyager into another nebula in order to find this Kuava plant, we're in trouble.'_

"Yes, it's a plant we harvest in the fall and use to make a beverage quite like this one," Jakal answered. He took another sip. "We generally serve it at ambient temperature and ours isn't a bean, but a leafy plant."

"If it passes inspection by our doctor," Janeway leaned forward, "Would it be possible to include some in our requested items?"

"Of course. You've come at the perfect time for it. The harvest festival is taking place tomorrow." He slapped the table excitedly. "The Kuava Festival. I had forgotten all about it in the excitement of your arrival. You should join me, Captain."

"You have a Kuava festival?" Janeway asked ignoring Chakotay's snicker at the eagerness in her voice.

"We celebrate many festivals across the planet throughout the year. Tomorrow, one of our larger cities will be celebrating its recent Kuava crop harvesting. The plants are used to make all sorts of food and drinks," Jakal beamed as he turned to face Janeway. "A few other government officials and I will have a booth at the festival so that we may preside over the festivities. A space faring dignitary such as yourself would be most welcome to join us."

"Captain, I think it's a great idea," Chakotay spoke up. "You could use some time off the ship. I'll oversee the loading of supplies while you're planetside."

"Oh, I don't think I can," Janeway protested weakly.

"As one of the people presiding over the festival, you would be able to sample the finest of all the different Kuava delicacies," Jakal entreated.

"Captain, except for the Doctor's disapproval of the caffeine you will undoubtedly ingest, there is no reason you shouldn't take advantage of this opportunity," Chakotay responded. "Reports will be here when you get back, and with the caffeine racing through your veins I'm sure you will be able to complete them in half the time."

"Please, Captain Janeway, it would be an honor to have you join us," The Minister implored. "It will be only a few hours away from your ship, and perhaps you will find a product there that you wish to bring home with you."

Janeway nodded and smiled convinced. "Well, it seems I might be overdue for some shore leave afterall."

Kathryn Janeway was indeed enjoying the festival. She had left the government's booth earlier to walk amongst the different vendor stalls of the festival, but she returned to begin her third round of sampling. As far as she was concerned this Kuava was the most similar substance next to coffee that she had found in the entire quadrant, and from the way her blood was singing it must have about the same amount of caffeine equivalent. The variety in which the locals used the leaf rivaled any coffee shop in San Francisco. She had tried the drink version in more than one variety as well as chewing on a leaf of the plant that had been dipped into the local equivalent of chocolate. _'Neelix would have a conniption if I trade away all of his leola root, but on the other hand the rest of the crew would be ecstatic.'_

She walked to the back of the booth and was perusing the table that had been so extravagantly laid out when the proverbial shit hit the fan. Janeway was eyeing what looked like coffee custard and possibly a version of ice cream when the explosion happened. Minister Jakal and the other government officials were all sitting at the front of the booth when it disintegrated in a plume of smoke and ash. A shockwave from the blast lifted Janeway off her feet and threw her over the table. She slammed into the back wall of the booth and fell to the floor. The remnants of the booth crashed down around her. Kathryn's sight focused briefly on a single kuava leaf floating through the air before tunneling her into darkness.

The first thing she felt upon waking was a throbbing headache. She opened her eyes hoping, for once, to see the bright lights of sickbay. She was disappointed when she found herself in an unfamiliar room that was dimly lit and furnished even less. She began to sit up, but quickly felt all the muscles in her back protest the motion. She moved again albeit more slowly this time and managed to sit all the way up. It didn't feel like anything was broken but her muscles ached and felt tight._ 'Being at the scene of explosions is really starting to get old.' _

The Present

Janeway shifted her position on the small bench and rested her head against the wall. It was cool to the touch and helped soothe the throbbing muscles of her back. She didn't have to wait long before she heard footsteps coming down the hall. The door opened and two Hekorians stood in the doorway. Kathryn was relieved to find that she was still on the same planet.

"Get on your feet," One of the men barked at her. Their tone made her feel wary.

"I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the starship Voyager," She began. "I'd like to know what happened."

"Quiet. We do not need to know who you are. We have been ordered to bring you to the Dais for questioning," The guard grabbed her arm and pulled Janeway to her feet. "You will get a chance for your say there."

Janeway felt the room spin and attempted to push the dizziness to the back of her mind, '_It really won't make a good impression if I fall over on him.' _She put on her best command face and spoke in a voice that was firmer than she actually felt, "Then by all means, take me to this Dais."

The Dais was a considerable distance from the cell where she had woken. She had boarded two different shuttles flanked by the guards at all times. She took the time during the shuttle rides to sit down and build up her strength. She was also trying to remember everything she could about her situation. Kuava. Coffee. If only she could get some of that caffeine now. Maybe it would help her headache. The shuttle came to a stop and Janeway got to her feet without help. What had become of Jakal? Why was she being treated this way? She hoped this Dais would give her some sorely needed answers.

As Janeway stepped into the room, she saw three older Hekorians positioned behind what appeared to be a judge's podium. She began to step forward but was held back by one of her guards. Someone up front began an announcement, "The Magistrates of Plythe Province of the greater realm of Hekoria will now hear the truth. The matter before the Dais is the attack on Minister Jakal that resulted in his death."

At the news of Jakal's death, Janeway briefly closed her eyes in remembrance. She missed the brief nod one of the Hekorians behind the Dais gave to the guard beside her. Janeway's eyes snapped open when she felt a sting on the back of her neck. She whirled in time to see the guard remove something that looked similar to a hypospray.

"What did you do?" She was furious and immediately put a hand to the spot on her neck. Before she could demand anything further, the room began to spin and she felt her knees buckle. The guard was prepared for her body's reaction and caught her keeping her on her feet. He moved her in front of the judge's bench and released her. Without the guard's support, Janeway fell to her knees and elbows. _'Not exactly the position of strength I would have preferred to take, but at least I'm still conscious.'_

It only took a moment before she could feel her head clearing and she was able to sit back on her heels. Furious was an understatement for how she felt at that moment, "What did you do to me? Why am I being treated like this? I have an agreement with your government."

The Hekorian seated behind the dais in the middle spoke, "What is your name?"

"I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Voyager. What is this all about?" She answered bringing herself slowly back to a standing position. She gave the guard that had deposited her the full death glare.

"What were you doing in the government booth at the festivities?" The oldest Hekorian asked.

"I was sampling the local kuava products," Janeway replied. "Now are you going to tell me…"

"Why was the government attacked today?" The Hekorian to the right cut her off. "Did you target Minister Jakal specifically?"

"I have no idea why your officials were attacked today. I didn't target anyone," Janeway answered.

"What was your relationship to the Minister?"

"Political only," Janeway replied tightly not liking the implication of the question.

"Why did he invite you to the festival?"

"He invited me to attend the festivities when he found out I liked coffee," She answered. "I think I've answered enough questions and now I have some of my own."

"Did you know about the attack before it happened?" The Hekorian to the right badgered her.

"No, I had no prior knowledge."

"What was used in the explosive?"

"I have no idea," Janeway said. "Now, I refuse to answer any more questions…"

"How many people were involved with this act?"

"I don't know," Janeway answered before she could stop herself.

"What group claims committing this act?"

"I don't know," Janeway blurted out. '_What is wrong with me?'_

"What did your group hope to accomplish?"

"My group is only trying to get home," Janeway answered. She had a dawning suspicion what had been in that hypospray. "What exactly did you administer to me?"

The interrogation continued ignoring her questions, "How would your group get home by attacking our government?"

"It wouldn't," She said exasperated.

"Then why did you attack us?"

Janeway was able to hesitate this time before answering their question. She tried to shake off the need to answer them, but she was only able to delay her response. "We didn't attack you. How many times do I have to tell you?"

Behind the dais, the Hekorians began to converse amongst themselves. "The effects of the serum are beginning to wear off. Her species must be more resistant to it."

"If it worked at all," The middle one scoffed. "She didn't tell us anything about the attack."

"Maybe she doesn't know anything." The oldest one considered. "She did answer our questions."

"Gentlemen," Janeway began trying desperately to sound civil. She'd been ignored long enough. "Please contact your world government; they know who I am and what I'm doing here. I've been telling you the truth which, quite frankly, I don't think you gave me a choice about."

They officials barely glanced in her direction, but the two guards moved in close to flank her sides again. She had the distinct knowledge that they were prepared to restrain her if necessary.

"If the serum did not produce results; we should move to immersion," The middle one suggested to his partners.

"With the resistance she showed to the serum. The immersion would have to be complete in order to expect results," The Hekorian on the right surmised. "Since it will require a full session, we should get started right away."

The middle one nodded and then finally gave Janeway his attention. "It has been decided that you will undergo truth immersion in order to determine your accountability in this heinous act."

"Now wait a minute," Janeway began, but the guards had already taken her by the arms. "I demand to speak to your government. Contact my ship. Let them know I'm here."

The Hekorians behind the dais left the room without acknowledging her.

Janeway considered resisting her guards, but since there were now four of them she felt it would be futile. She didn't know what this truth immersion was going to entail, but she felt sure that saving her strength for it was the wiser choice of action. The serum they had shot her with earlier had compelled her to answer any question that was asked of her. This truth immersion was supposed to produce even stronger effects. _'What more will they ask me, and will they accept the answers I give them.'_

The guards brought her to a room three doors to the left of the dais. She was handed a jumpsuit of sorts and told to change into it. She balked at first, but the guards made it obvious she would wear it one way or another. She stepped behind the provided screen and changed. She didn't like being out of her uniform. It was never a good sign in a predicament such as she found herself.

Janeway stepped out from behind the screen unhappy with the little modesty afforded her by the jumpsuit. She could see the back wall of the room had been retracted while she changed. What she saw made her heart go into her throat. At the back of the room, there was an octagonal chamber filled with a bluish liquid. It stood at least four meters tall, and had stairs leading to the top of the chamber. The guards began to prod her to climb the stairs, and she understood that when they said immersion they meant it literally.

As a rule, Starfleet Captains did not panic, but she simply could not let herself be herded into that chamber without a fight. She moved quickly against the guards, and managed to break away from their loose grasp. She lashed out and managed to fell two of her guards, before a third managed to get his arms around her. A fourth guard stepped forward avoiding her kicks, and she felt another sting against her neck. Almost immediately she felt her muscles go limp. She slumped in the guard's arms seething that her body would not respond to her mind's commands.

The guards brought her flaccid form to the top of the tank. Another Hekorian fitted a breathing mask over her mouth and nose, and she was lowered into the blue liquid. As the top of the tank was sealed, Janeway dug deep into her Starfleet training, _'I don't think they ever envisioned this scenario at Starfleet Academy.'_

After some time had passed, Janeway could begin to move her arms and legs again. She was still encased in the alien fish tank with no where to go, but she relished the return of control of her muscles. She could discern no ill effects from the bluish substance other than the wrinkling of her skin. The liquid did not seem to bother her eyesight and she could hear the occasional noise. She was thankful she didn't have complete sensory deprivation.

She had no idea how long she had been in the tank, or how long they would keep her there. The rotation of the guard shift was the only time reference she had and they had already changed over twice. She had grown tired of watching them watching her during the first shift. _'After this experience, I can certainly relate to the fish in Picard's ready room.'_

_She could see the cold water creeping into the shuttle. She could see Justin, slumped over unconscious, still strapped into the pilot's chair. Her father was hanging loosely in the straps of his chair. The water was continuing to climb up towards her. It passed over Justin's waist. She fumbled with the harness holding her in place. She realized the water wasn't climbing, the shuttle was sinking. The water crept over Justin's head and his body convulsed once before going still again as he breathed in the water. The water covered the lower half of her father's body now. The cold wet tendrils of liquid reached her feet and begin climbing up her legs. The water was freezing. She punched buttons on the console she could reach, but nothing seemed to be working. The water passed over her father's head and snaked halfway up her body. She sucked in a quick breath feeling the cold like a thousand needles pricking her skin. As the water insinuated itself up the length of her neck she raised her chin in a futile effort to avoid the inevitable. It was only then she was able to see out of the window of the shuttle. She could see herself standing outside in the ice and snow. The freezing water went over her head, but her eyes remained open. She watched helplessly as the image of herself outside in the snow stamped her foot on the icy shelf._

Janeway wrenched open her eyes and momentarily flailed at the bluish liquid in which she was still immersed before remembering where she was. She wanted to gasp for air and she had to fight an impulse to rip the breathing mask off her face. It took a tremendous mental effort to push the memory of Justin and her father to the back of her mind. Her surroundings were making it more difficult than usual to banish the memory. She closed her eyes so she could try and focus on anything besides the liquid in which she was immersed.

She almost had her heart rate under control again when she heard the guards talking to someone outside in the hall. Her eyes snapped open when she heard Chakotay's voice, "Torres, get her out of there. NOW!"

Torres and a team of engineers and security personnel moved past the surprised Hekorian guards and into Janeway's visual range. Torres strode up the ladder and had her Captain out of the tank within moments, "Captain, are you alright?"

"Not really, I just had a very vivid nightmare about the death of Justin and my father." Janeway's voice trailed off. '_That was not what I had intended to say. Judging by the surprised look on B'Elanna's face, that wasn't the answer she had been expecting to hear.'_

"Captain?" Torres asked worriedly. She whipped out a medical tricorder and began scanning the Captain.

"Please Lt, don't ask me any questions," Janeway said as she made her way to the screen where she had left her uniform. "I heard the Commander, where did he go?"

"He went to speak with some officials about how you've been treated," B'Elanna answered standing just beyond the screen. "I think it's just down the hall."

"That's exactly where I want to be," Janeway said coming out from behind the screen. She had her uniform on again and had pushed her wet hair out of her face. '_I'm due some answers.'_

Chakotay relaxed as Captain Janeway strode into the room. Her uniform was sporting large damp spots, but he had to suppress a grin. _'At least that death glare isn't focused on me.'_

The three Hekorians he had been speaking to concerning recent events literally took a step back and clustered closer together as Kathryn approached. They immediately began making excuses to the Captain.

"We meant you no harm, Captain. We are only the local municipality and we were simply trying to investigate the death of our government officials," The middle Hekorian spoke. "We were unaware of your dignitary status. Will you forgive us of our assumptions concerning you?"

"Not anytime soon," Janeway immediately answered. _'Damn.'_

Chakotay's head snapped up as Torres shifted her weight behind the Captain '_That certainly sounded more like a response B'Elanna would give, not Kathryn.'_

Janeway had fury behind her eyes, but she pinched the bridge of her nose betraying her discomfort at her response. She forced herself to speak in a calm tone, "I'm sure you understand better than I do why I just said that."

All three of the officials nodded, but only the oldest managed to respond to her statement. "Again we apologize, but in our efforts to uncover the facts about what happened we submitted you to truth immersion."

"And just what does that entail?" Chakotay demanded. '_What had Kathryn been subjected to? They had assured me it had been nothing invasive or painful.'_

"It means," Janeway surmised. "They dunked me in a booth full of liquid that forces me to tell the truth when asked a question."

"Well, yes," The official said meekly. "The effects of the immersion are longer lasting than the serum, but it is still only a temporary condition."

"How much longer lasting?" Janeway growled.

"The rest of today," The official began and Janeway relaxed slightly. Then he continued, "Plus two more."

"What?!" Janeway exploded.

"That's generally how long our trials last," The old Hekorian hurried to explain. "It is beneficial for our participants to speak the truth for the entirety of the trial."

"Welcome back, Captain," Ensign Campbell said as the command team rematerialized in the transporter room. "How was…"

"Don't!" Janeway immediately put her hand up to stop the obvious question. Luckily Chakotay intervened.

"The planetside was refreshing Ensign, thank you," Chakotay answered smiling as Janeway made a quick exit. He had to hustle to catch up with her as she was already half way down the corridor. "We didn't tell the crew anything yet. Only the senior officers know that it wasn't your choice you were taking extended time on the planet."

Janeway nodded, "I just didn't want to give the Ensign an earful about what her Captain really thinks of the planet."

Janeway and Chakotay entered sickbay and the Doctor greeted them with tricorder in hand, "Welcome back Captain. How are you feeling?"

"I have a throbbing headache, every muscle in my back hurts, and I'm slightly nauseous."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow at her candid response. "Well, that's enlightening."

"Doctor," Janeway began with her most menacing death glare aimed at him. "You should conduct this exam with as few questions as possible."

"Hmmm, well a medical exam can hardly be conducted without some questions."

"Keep them brief," Janeway said as she laid down hesitantly on the biobed.

The Doctor did not want to lose this opportunity to get some truthful answers from his most difficult patient, but he also didn't want to be deactivated either. "You do have a concussion, which I would assume is from the explosion the Commander mentioned. Did you have any injuries prior to the explosion for which you didn't seek treatment?"

"Yes."

"And what were they?" he asked quickly before she could stop him.

"A sprained wrist and a bruised hip," Janeway glared and began to rise to a sitting position. "Doctor."

"I am simply trying to determine which injuries are new and which are specifically related to your recent trip," He said pushing her back down. "How did you accrue these previous injuries?"

"Playing hoverball with Tom," Janeway sat up. "Doctor, finish this exam without questions or I will delete your program."

"Would you really?"

"No," she growled.

Chakotay cleared his throat earning glares from both the Doctor and the Captain, "Doctor, have you found out anything about the sample of serum that B'Elanna sent you?"

"Not yet. I have it analyzing now," He administered a hypospray to the Captain. "That should help with your headache and sore muscles. There will be no permanent damage from any of your injuries, but you should still take it easy for the next two days. As for your nausea, when was the last time you ate?"

"The dinner before this mission started," Janeway answered.

"Well then, I suggest you stop by the mess hall on the way to your quarters. If you will stop by in the morning I should have some preliminary results for you regarding the serum," The Doctor continued and put some space between himself and the captain. He wanted to get one more question in before she left. "Do you…"

"Doctor, so help me if you ask me one more question. I will not delete your program, but I will ensure that you clean the outside hull of this ship from stem to stern with a toothbrush!"

The Doctor swallowed his question, "Very well. Have a good evening, Captain."

Chakotay waited until they were alone on the turbolift and decided to dare the devil, "So, who won the hoverball game?"

"Paris."

Kathryn refused to go to the mess hall insisting that Chakotay bring her up to speed on ship's business. They reached her quarters, and he smiled mischievously at her.

"What?" Janeway asked him. "And don't you dare ask me a question."

"I'll try not to, but I think it best if we sit down and have dinner while we talk."

"I am not remotely hungry right now," She said. "I'm too keyed up."

"Kathryn, do you really want to face the Doctor tomorrow and have him ask if you followed his directions?" Chakotay grimaced as she answered his question quite colorfully. "Damn, sorry about that. I didn't mean to phrase it as a question."

"I know," She sighed. "Fine, you replicate something while I sonic off the last of that goo."

Throughout dinner Chakotay thought of a million questions he would love to ask, but he discarded them. It just wouldn't be fair. He looked up when Kathryn sighed. She was looking right at him.

"Go ahead and ask, Chakotay."

"I'm sorry?" He tried to say innocently.

"I've been watching you for the past twenty minutes. You haven't said a word throughout dinner because you don't want to ask me a question, and yet that's all that's going through your mind," She said as she rose to recycle the dinner plates. "So go ahead and ask me what's on your mind."

"It just doesn't seem fair."

"It's not. However, I don't promise that you'll like the answers you receive so maybe it is fair after all," She sat on the couch with her after dinner coffee. She smiled at the drink before sipping it. '_Coffee was how this whole thing got started.'_

"Kathryn, you just smiled at your coffee," He said joining her on the couch.

"That wasn't a question," She gave him a half smile.

He took a deep breath, "Are you alright?"

"No," She answered. As he started to speak again she interrupted, "Let me clarify. Physically, I'm tired and sore, but I will be fine. Mentally, I feel exposed. I've lost a little piece of control and I don't like it."

"No one ever likes to lose control, least of all Kathryn Janeway," He said giving her the half dimple smile.

"You're going to have to take over the bridge for the next few days," She said changing the subject.

"That's really not necessary unless you feel you need the time off."

"That's not it Chakotay. What do you think will happen if we get attacked in the next two days? Paris will ask me what I want to do, and I'll give him the truthful answer."

He asked, "What would you tell him?"

"I'd tell him to destroy whoever had attacked us," She sighed. "Or maybe it would be a really bad attack, and I'd tell him I want to go hide under the desk in my ready room."

"You would never want to hide when your ship was being attacked. No matter how bad the odds," He said confidently. When she opened her mouth to protest, he asked, "Would you ever hide from an enemy?"

"No," She slapped his leg. "That wasn't fair. But that's not really the point. What if we come across some absolutely incredible situation for which there is no answer? What then?"

"I'm not sure I'm following you," He told her.

"The Captain always knows what to do. I give orders and people take comfort that although they aren't sure, the Captain has a good grasp on things. But Chakotay," She looked away from him, "What if they ask me what to do next, and the only truthful answer I can give them is that I have no idea what to do. In this quadrant, I have to make this stuff up as we go along. You've been a captain before, you know that sometimes the truthful answer is that you have no idea what to do next. The crew doesn't need to know that."

"Alright," he conceded. "I'll take command until this wears off. Besides it'll be good for you to take a few days off after your ordeal."

"You won't be rid of me that easily. I still intend to get some work done around here," She said. "There's plenty I can get accomplished without having to answer any questions. I'm not going to confine myself to quarters."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Paramount and TPTB. The plot is the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Warning: Rated PG for some mild language.

And the Coffee Will Set You Free Ch.2

"I should be confined to quarters," Kathryn said when Chakotay entered her quarters for dinner the following evening.

"Wh…" Chakotay started to ask. He stopped himself and began again. "Tell me what happened."

Kathryn acknowledged his control at not asking a direct question with a nod of her head before speaking, "You know I went to sickbay this morning?"

"Yes," He replicated tea and sat down while she paced in front of him.

"Well, the Doctor does not show the same consideration as you do and I think he is actually enjoying taking advantage of my condition."

_"Good morning Captain," the Doctor greeted her cheerfully. "Did you sleep well last night?"_

_"No."_

_"Did you sleep at all?"_

_"Some."_

_"How long?"_

_"Three hours."_

_"Have you eaten this morning?"_

_"No."_

_"How much coffee have you had?"_

_"Eight cups."_

_"How long have you been awake?"_

_"Four hours."_

_"Captain, it is 0730. Are you telling me you've been up since three in the morning?" he asked, incredulous. "And that you've been inhaling caffeine like it was oxygen?"_

_"Yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you," Janeway said giving him the full death glare. "And you know I'm not making any of this up. In fact, I think you've asked just about enough questions for today."_

_"But," He began but swallowed his objection when she held up her hand in warning, "Very well."_

_"Do you have anything new to report about my condition?" she asked._

_"No. You are as healthy now as you ever are. You lack proper nutrition and sleep…" _

_"Doctor," She warned._

_"The serum has not affected you outside of its intended side effect," He continued. "I have been unable to determine a way to countermand the effects, and I believe that by the time I can come up with something the drug will have run its course."_

_"Keep working on it," She said and turned to leave sickbay._

_"Captain," He called after her._

_Janeway froze halfway to the door bracing for another onslaught of questions._

_"Please eat something." He said simply._

_She gave him a curt nod and headed out._

Chakotay smiled to himself imagining the Doctor taking full advantage of the Captain's once in a lifetime inability to avoid his questions, "I'm surprised he was able to restrain himself."

"At least he didn't ask my opinion on his opera or photo essays."

"Hopefully Tuvok won't ask you about his poetry," Chakotay said choosing his comments very carefully. It was difficult to not phrase things as a question. "Your sickbay visit wasn't enough to warrant confining yourself to quarters."

"Oh, no. I was downright kind to the Doctor in comparison," Kathryn continued. "I went to engineering after leaving sickbay. Surely, B'Elanna had something I could work on that didn't require a lot of questions."

_"Good morning, Captain." Torres greeted Janeway as she entered engineering. "How are you feeling?"_

_"My back muscles are still sore and I'm frustrated with the doctor's lack of progress," Janeway grimaced. _

_"I'm so sorry, Captain. I didn't mean to ask…" Torres started._

_"It's alright, B'Elanna. As you can see, I'm still having some side effects from my recent away mission," Janeway reassured her engineer. "I was hoping you needed help with something down here."_

_"There's a ruptured conduit in Jeffries tube 47. I was about to send a team to check it out," Torres said looking at a PADD._

_"Work in an out of the way Jeffries tube sounds like an excellent place for me right now," The Captain told her taking the offered PADD. _

_"Do you want anyone to come with you?" Torres asked and then grimaced._

_"No," Janeway stated. "Thank you, but no. I'll be fine on my own."_

_Torres nodded understanding._

"That doesn't sound like it went so bad," Chakotay commented.

"Oh, it gets better," Kathryn said finally sitting down. "Lt. Carey doesn't know about my condition. And I guess after awhile he saw that the Captain was working by herself so he sent someone down to help me out."

"Who did he send?"

"Mortimer Harren."

_"Captain, Lt. Carey told me to come assist you," Crewman Harren announced his presence in the Jeffries tube. _

'Damn.' _Janeway briefly closed her eyes._ _"Well, you're too late. I'm just about finished here."_

_"Oh," He didn't sound very upset about having missed the work, but he helped her put the covering back over the exposed circuits. Janeway began putting away her tools so she could crawl back to engineering when Harren asked, "Have you had the opportunity to read my theory on the dark matter lifeforms?"_

_"Yes," Janeway answered._ 'Damn again.' _It was true she'd had the opportunity. At the time she hadn't felt like reading through it, and had put it to the side intending to read it later._

_Mortimer brightened, "Well, wha…"_

_Janeway cut him off by asking her own question, "Why don't you explain your opening statement to me? I'll admit I don't have as thorough an understanding of the subject as you do."_

_After crawling through the access tunnels all the way back to engineering with Harren explaining in detail his theory, Janeway had a very good understanding of the subject by the time her feet touched the floor of engineering. _

_Torres saw her emerging with Harren and hurried over, "Captain, is everything…"_

_"Everything is fine, B'Elanna," Janeway said cutting both B'Elanna and Harren off. "Thank you, Crewman, for that explanation. I appreciate the complexities of your theory much better now."_

_"Of course, Captain," Harren picked up the diagnostic kit. "I'll take care of these. Thank you for your time, Captain."_

_"Captain, I am so sorry. I had no idea Joe sent someone down to help you," Torres said as Harren walked away._

_"It's alright, B'Elanna. My knowledge on dark matter needed refreshing," Janeway managed a small smile. _

_Torres began explaining to her what the engineering team had accomplished that morning and neither woman noticed Paris appear behind them._

_"It's 1300 ladies," Paris said. "Is anyone hungry?" _

_"Yes," Janeway answered. Torres glanced at her sympathetically._

_"Well, then let's go to the mess hall. I understand lunch isn't half bad," Paris said as he corralled the two women out of engineering. "Of course, that also means it isn't half good either."_

_"That's what I'm afraid of," Janeway muttered loud enough for Torres to hear._

"Oh no," Chakotay said. "You mean you actually ate the lunch today. This really should've been a replicator day."

"Tell me about it," Kathryn moaned slightly. "I'm sure Neelix wishes I had stayed out of the mess hall today."

_Tom was chatting away happily about his latest holodeck endeavor while the threesome walked through the corridors towards the messhall. He didn't notice that neither woman was really paying any attention to what he was saying. Torres had her mind on the Captain vowing to herself that she would step in if anyone asked an uncomfortable question. Janeway was thinking about how she could avoid any well intentioned crew member asking her potentially embarrassing questions._

_"So, Captain," Tom said as they stepped into the turbolift. "What do you think?"_

_Janeway's head snapped up and Torres stomped on Tom's foot. Tom missed Kathryn's answer as he swore and grabbed his foot to start rubbing it._

_"What did you do that for B'Elanna? All I did was ask the Capt…"_

_"Paris," B'Elanna stopped him mid-sentence. "If you finish that question, you will find yourself sleeping on the couch tonight."_

_Janeway smiled at B'Elanna's protective gesture. "Computer, halt lift. Mr. Paris,"_

_"With your permission Captain," B'Elanna interrupted. She received a nod from Janeway. "Tom, you know about the Captain's incarceration planetside, but what you don't know is that she is still experiencing some side effects from that trip. You will not ask her any questions, and we will ensure that no one in the mess hall asks her any questions."_

_"Uhm, okay," Tom said thoroughly confused looking between the two women and settling on his wife. "Can I ask you a question?"_

_Torres nodded. Tom pointedly did not look at the Captain, "Is the Captain okay?"_

_"I'm sure she'd agree with my answer," Torres said looking at Janeway. "She's fine."_

_"And she's still standing here in the lift," Janeway spoke up. She relented when Tom turned back to face her. "They gave me a truth serum, Tom."_

_Comprehension dawned on Paris' face. Then he just nodded._

_"Computer, resume lift." _

_"So, Captain," Tom began ignoring a growl from B'Elanna. Janeway looked at him warily and saw the twinkle in his eye that usually got him in trouble. "A few years back you mentioned sneaking out of your house when you were in high school."_

_"Your point, Lieutenant?" She asked stressing his rank._

_"Would you care to enlighten us as to where you were sneaking off to?"_

_"No way in hell."_

_Janeway insisted on getting her own plate and encountered her first problem when Ensign Chell greeted her in line, "Captain, what do you think about today's selection?"_

_"I hadn't realized until today how much I enjoy ration bars," Janeway answered. She immediately faked a coughing fit to cover him asking her to explain what she meant. Torres stepped in and distracted Chell as the Captain hurriedly took her tray to a table in the corner. She sat down and put her head in her hands. She missed seeing Neelix approach her table._

_"Captain, how delightful to see you today," Neelix greeted her._

'Oh hell,'_ Janeway brought her head up slowly and groaned inwardly when she saw he had a tray in his hand. "Good afternoon, Neelix."_

_"Have you tried my new Sumarian root melts?" He asked indicating the jiggling blue poofs on the tray._

_"No."_

_"Oh well, you simply must try one," He plopped one on her plate where it landed with a squishy sound. _

_Janeway looked down at it. It continued to jiggle on her plate as she contemplated what would happen if she poked it with her fork._

_"Well, aren't you going to try it?" Neelix asked her._

_"No."_

_"C'mon Captain, these are quite similar to the Mesopian nectar pies I made last week," He commented happily. "Didn't you like those?"_

_"No," Janeway answered sinking further down into her seat wishing she could disappear. _'Where's Paris when I need him?'

_"I'm sorry to hear that Captain," He said looking crestfallen._

_"Me too," She said wondering what he would think if she crawled under the table. _

_"Can I get you some of yesterday's stew?"_

_"No," She tried to stop him from going any further. "Really Neelix, I don't need anything, thank you."_

_"Well, Captain, it's the rare chance you let me fuss over you," Neelix continued lost in thought. "Hmm, what have we had this week that you liked?"_

_"Nothing," She answered unable to stop herself. _

_Neelix looked stunned. "Did you eat the Rigelian lasagna?"_

_"I only had one bite," Janeway jumped up. She had to leave. Quickly._

_"Neelix!" Paris finally managed to make it through the crowded mess hall. "You aren't trying to poison the Captain are you?"_

_"I can't stay here, Tom," Janeway said shoving her tray into Tom's hands and pushing past him. She headed for the doors with her head down hoping to avoid any other crew member questions._

"Neelix has a thick skin. I'm sure he'll just try harder to impress you," Chakotay said when he finally finished laughing at Kathryn's story.

"You have no idea how badly I felt. He tries. All this time, and he still can't cook. I was so afraid he was going to ask me to name something that he's made that I really enjoyed," Kathryn leaned against the arm of the couch. "Do you think that was the end of my day?"

Chakotay smiled. "By all means, continue."

"Well, I thought that at least in my ready room I wouldn't have to deal with anyone."

_Janeway groaned when the chime to her ready room door sounded. "Come in."_

_"Well, Captain, I see you aren't following my orders," The Doctor chided as he walked into the room._

_Janeway sighed._

_"Have you eaten?"_

_"No."_

_"Have you been working all day?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Have you relaxed at all?"_

_"No."_

_"Captain," the Doctor was exasperated. "What will it take to get you to relax?" "Reaching the Alpha Quadrant, securing pardons for all former Maquis, attaining citizen status for you and Seven, and," Janeway lowered her voice almost to a mumble, "sex."_

_The Doctor feared deletion of his memory files again if he acknowledged that he heard her, "I'm sorry, Captain, I didn't quite hear that last part."_

_"Good," Relief flooded her features. "And I think that's about enough questions for one day. Did you stop by for any other reason?"  
"I'm making progress on a cure," He set a PADD on her desk as he crossed to the replicator. He ordered a bowl of vegetable bouillon with crackers and a cup of tea. He took the PADD out of her hand and put the bowl in front of her. "Please Captain, I think we'd both prefer to not have this conversation again."_

_Janeway's stomach growled loud enough for them to both hear it. "Thank you, Doctor."_

_"Eat and then go to your quarters and take it easy, or I will return for another truthful conversation about your health and habits."_

_The Doctor was out the door before the PADD Janeway threw hit the wall._

"And now all I need to do is make it through this evening with you," Kathryn said stretching her legs out so her feet rested on the coffee table.

"I promise to behave," Chakotay smiled. "I must confess though, I never realized how difficult it is to have a conversation without asking any questions."

"I never realized how much I lied throughout the day," She sighed.

He smiled the full dimples at her. "I knew."

"Hmph," She let his comment pass. "I can't imagine getting into a diplomatic situation and having to speak like this. I'd probably offend every race that we met."

"You mean, there are races in the Delta Quadrant that don't already hate us?" he chuckled.

"I'm sure there are one or two out there still, that I could manage to alienate," She said as she picked up a PADD to review.

They had both settled into reading while relaxing in each other's company. It had been a few hours when Chakotay stirred and commented quietly, "I do have a question for you."

Kathryn stiffened, "Oh."

He didn't look up from the PADD he was pretending to read. "Yeah."

Kathryn waited. He said nothing more. She couldn't stand it, "Well?"

"Hmmm?" He asked looking up innocently.

"Your question," She urged.

"Oh, right," He put his PADD down and looked at her. "I don't think you know the answer to my question."

She raised an eyebrow. "Well, you can be sure that if I do know the answer…I'll tell you."

He stood up and crossed to the replicator. "I already know the answer."

"Let me see if I understand you correctly," She followed him. "You want to ask me a question to which I don't know the answer, but that doesn't matter because you already know the answer."

He recycled his cup before answering her, "Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I don't know if you know the answer," He offered to recycle the coffee cup she was holding. She handed it to him and as he took it from her his index finger trailed along the back of her hand. He smiled when her eyes snapped up to look into his. There was electricity there.

He turned his back to her as he put her cup in to be recycled. He busied himself until he felt her draw nearer to him. He knew she wouldn't be able to stand the suspense for long. _'Any second now. Wait for it.'_

"Chakotay?"

_'Gotcha.'_ He turned to face her and took a step towards her invading her personal space. He could smell the light fragrance of roses. "Yes, Kathryn?"

She had to look up to see into his eyes, but she didn't step back. She cleared her throat, "You said you had something you wanted to ask me."

He smiled, "It can wait until tomorrow."

Confusion crossed her features. He planted a quick kiss on her forehead and headed towards the door. "Goodnight, Kathryn."

Kathryn stood rooted to the spot for a good five minutes. She could just barely smell his aftershave. With a sigh, she ran her hands through her hair and headed for the refresher. _'How does he expect me to get any sleep now?'_

Despite not being on duty, Kathryn stepped on the bridge at eight sharp the next morning. She couldn't help herself. She had been going stir crazy in her cabin since five in the morning. She had considered going to sickbay, but she really didn't want to have another conversation with the Doctor.

After Chakotay had left she had only been able to sleep for four hours. Now she was on the bridge, and she was tired and anxious. Not a good combination. At least her bridge crew knew better than to ask her any direct questions. She stepped down to her chair and saw the source of her discomfort. She amended her thoughts. Most of her crew knew better.

"Good morning, Captain," Chakotay greeted her.

"That has yet to be proven, Commander," She said taking her seat.

Paris turned back to the conn when he heard this comment. He had been about to ask the Captain a question, but decided he didn't want to spend the next month scrubbing the hull.

Kathryn saw Tom turn back to his station. She looked down and smiled. She had seen the look in his eye. She was almost sorry she had blocked his shot so easily. Almost. Her smile faded when she looked to her left. Chakotay just looked too damn smug.

"You look tired, Captain," Chakotay commented. "I'd ask if you slept well, but I wouldn't want you to think I was taking advantage of your condition."

"I appreciate your concern, Commander," She replied tightly. "I slept fine."

"Good to hear Captain," he said brightly. "So after our shift we'll be able to finish our conversation from last night."

Janeway stiffened. "Of course, Commander."

Paris slumped in his seat. It was going to be a long shift.

Janeway stayed on the bridge out of sheer stubbornness for three hours. She'd never looked his way, but Chakotay's amusement radiated towards her. The energy of the rest of the bridge crew, however, was a reflection of her mood. It was not one of amusement. She sighed inwardly and turned the bridge over to Chakotay so she could escape to her ready room.

Tom let out a breath of relief as the ready room doors closed behind her. He turned in his seat to assess how the rest of the bridge felt about her departure and was confused by the smirk on Chakotay's face. Normally, he would be concerned after a morning like today, but now he looked like he had just swallowed the canary. Tom decided to reassess the betting pools. This might prove to be an interesting shift after all.

Janeway paced around her ready room. She usually tried not to pace finding it to be pointless, but this situation with Chakotay was driving her to distraction. She hadn't gotten any work done, and she still had two hours until the end of his shift.

Her badge signaled the Doctor calling. She hit her badge to acknowledge and rattled off all the answers before he had the chance to ask any questions, "Doctor, I've slept, eaten, and left the bridge. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"As a matter of fact, I have one more instruction for you Captain." The Doctor responded not missing a beat despite her curt manner.

"Doctor," she warned.

"Go to the holodeck and do something active."

Surprising herself and the Doctor, Janeway agreed. She needed to do something to get her mind off the upcoming dinner conversation.

As Chakotay's shift came to an end he was very aware that Kathryn had not returned to the bridge. Once he was in the turbolift, he asked the computer her location.

"Captain Janeway is in holodeck two."

He was pleasantly surprised, but he wasn't about to let her get out of dinner that easily. He hit his badge, "Chakotay to the Captain."

"Go ahead Commander," she answered sounding out of breath.

Chakotay frowned. Before he could speak, he heard a muffled grunt over the comm. line and a clang of metal. Janeway's voice sounded over the line again, "Computer, pause program."

"Captain, is everything alright?" he asked concerned.

There was a distinct pause before she replied, "No. You distracted me and I got pummeled by a Klingon."

"A Klingon?" Chakotay couldn't believe B'Elanna would take such a cheap shot and especially not at Kathryn.

"Don't worry Chakotay, Torres is in engineering," Janeway laughed roughly. "I should've paused my sparring partner before answering your call."

"Captain, are you sparring with Klingons?" Chakotay asked astounded as he stepped off the turbolift and headed towards the holodeck.

Another pause. "Yes. I have to prepare for B'Elanna somehow."

He shook his head and came to a stop outside the doors of the holodeck.

"Commander, did you call me for a reason?" she asked.

"Come on out of the holodeck, and I'll escort you to dinner."

Another pause. "You're outside the holodeck right now?"

He smiled a different smile now. "Surely you haven't forgotten our dinner plans."

Chakotay continued to smile when she didn't respond. His smile disappeared when the doors of the holodeck opened and she emerged carrying a bat'leth. She was wearing workout clothes and her hair was plastered to her face with sweat. And she had blood flowing freely from her nose and down her chin.

"Captain!"

She held up her hand. "It's your fault. You distracted me."

"Are you…" He began.

"Relax Commander, before you ask, I'm fine," She swiped at her chin with her sleeve. "However, I think I'll make a trip to sickbay before joining you for dinner."

He simply nodded finding himself speechless.

"Give me half an hour," Kathryn said as she turned to leave. She stopped and turned to look back at him. "And I hope you haven't forgotten."

"Forgotten what?" he asked finding his voice.

She paused. "I believe you wanted to ask me something."

Forty-five minutes later, Kathryn rang the chime for Chakotay's quarters. When he answered the door wearing slacks and a shirt, she was glad she had chosen the casual pants suit instead of her uniform. Once she stepped inside, he took her chin in his hand and made a show of looking over where her injury had been.

"The Doctor does good work." He withdrew his hand and crossed to the replicator. He needed some space away from her to regain his composure.

"You have no idea," Kathryn said quietly. She was thankful he had his back turned. _'Inhale. Exhale. This is not your first rodeo.'_

"Wine?" he asked.

"Yes, please." She settled herself onto the couch. Chakotay smiled as he watched her slip off her shoes and tuck her feet underneath her.

"So, how long have you been battling Klingons in your spare time?" he asked handing her the glass.

She pursed her lips for a moment before answering, "Almost two years now. One day B'Elanna offered to spar with me, but I realized I had better prepare if I wanted a chance in hell of keeping up with her. Unfortunately, we've never settled on a date and time."

"Well if you ever do pick a day, please let me know," He said sitting down across from her. "I'd like to give the Doctor some forewarning."

She chuckled but said nothing more.

"I take it from some of your silences the effects of the serum are wearing off," Chakotay commented.

She looked up and nodded, "I can almost control it now. For just a moment I can hold back, but then the truth just pops out."

"So, by tomorrow you'll be back to normal?"

"I'll be able to handle Neelix's cooking once again," She smiled.

"Well, speaking of cooking," Chakotay stood and offered his hand. "Shall we adjourn our conversation to the table?"

She took his hand, "Lead on."

Dinner conversation flowed evenly between ship's business and speculation on crew members. They both cleaned up after dinner managing to bump into each other more than once. When they returned to their pre-dinner spots on the couch, both fell silent.

_'Are we thinking about the same thing? I used to be able to tell.'_ Kathryn studied the side of his face. She smiled when she realized he was pretending not to notice her scrutiny. "Chakotay."

He looked up, "Yes?"

"What are you up to?" she asked.

The full dimples came out as he chuckled, "You do realize, I haven't been exposed to a truth serum. Direct questions won't work with me."

She raised an eyebrow at him.

He laughed, "The 'look' wont work either. We're off duty."

Kathryn's voice seemed to lower a few notches, "I guess I'll have to try something else."

Chakotay swallowed tightly. The sound of her whiskey voice made all the humor drain from his body. He took a breath to steady himself. _'Keep it together, we've been here before.'_ Her normally light blue gaze had darkened, but he forced himself to look into her eyes. "Kathryn, I haven't forgotten."

Kathryn's breath caught in her throat when his brown eyes locked with hers. The mischievous twinkle that had been in his eyes a moment before had turned to something else. Something sensual. She could feel her entire body grow warmer under his gaze. She didn't trust herself to speak so she just nodded for him to continue.

Chakotay took a breath and asked, "Kathryn, is protocol the real reason we don't have a more personal relationship?"

_'That wasn't exactly the question I was expecting.'_ She paused before answering, "No."

A question began forming on his lips, but she reached out and pressed two fingers over his mouth silencing him.

"It was the reason at one time," She said simply. "But time out here has changed that. I know now that a relationship between us wouldn't affect this crew or this ship. I couldn't have known that when we started."

He nodded understanding, "May I continue now?"

Kathryn nodded slightly. _'Ask me the question, Chakotay. The one we've been dancing around for years.'_ Despite how it terrified her, she welcomed it.

Chakotay took a breath in, "Kathryn, do you love me?"

"Yes."

A smile broke out on his face at her immediate response. _'She said it. She finally said it. Ever since New Earth it's been a formidable presence between us and now it's gone. It no longer matters about protocol. She loves me. She's talking and I have no idea what she just said.'_ "What?"

Kathryn smiled at his delayed response to her comment but didn't bother repeating it. She simply watched the emotions go across his face as he let his head drop back to rest on the couch. _'He looks like he just finished running a marathon. In a way I guess he has.'_

He reached over and clasped her hand, "You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that."

She smiled, "It felt good to say."

He relaxed and then frowned, "But, if protocol isn't the reason, then what's been holding you back?"

"Me."

A cold hand reached into his chest, "You?"

"I haven't had the best of luck in love, and I couldn't handle losing you," She said looking down at their joined hands. "I lost Justin to death. I lost Mark to time and space.

I can handle assimilation, being hunted on the holodeck, and aliens trying to harvest my organs. But I can't face losing you."

"Kathryn, you could never lose me," he said then added sheepishly, "Well, outside of a shuttle accident anyway."

"Oh, I know your record with shuttlecraft, but that's not what I mean," She said.

"Then what?" he asked.

"If I lost you physically it would be difficult enough. It would take a lot of time, but I would eventually recover from that." She reached out and took his hand. "I'm talking about something else."

"I'm not following you," he said.

"Ransom and Equinox. Seven and the Borg. Both times, for a very short time, I lost you. It almost destroyed me," She admitted. "But those circumstances weren't because of our personal feelings towards each other. Mostly. We were able to come back from those instances. If I ever lost you over love, I wouldn't be able to come back from that."

"Kathryn, when are you going to hear me when I tell you that I will always be here for you?" He cupped her face in his hands when she started to shake her head. "I have seen you at your worst when we were in the void. I've been scared of you when you were chasing Ransom. I've been scared for you when you went off to be assimilated. I've even seen you die. You cannot make me leave your side."

"Chakotay," She started but he put his fingers on her lips.

"Let me finish. I've seen you with other men. I've seen you bloodied in battle with the Hirogen. I've seen you laugh. I've seen you embrace B'Elanna in comfort. Not an easy feat I know. I'm still here." He continued. "You can't get rid of me. I can't promise something won't happen to me and you can't promise me that either. But I can promise you that I will never let you lose me."

Kathryn tucked her head and said quietly, "I want to believe that."

"Then believe it," He said to her and lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes. "Believe what I tell you, and you tell me the same thing. We'll argue, disagree, and agree to disagree. If it's something with this ship or crew, I'll follow your lead. If it's something personal, then we'll work through it. Just tell me, right now, that you won't give up on me."

"I've never given up on you," she said then added guiltily, "I've wavered a couple of times, but those were the times I missed you the most."

"Even then, you still had me," He said then smiled. "Except when you were a Borg. I was never interested in being assimilated, not even by you."

Kathryn smiled, "It's just as well, pale skin doesn't suit you."

A comfortable silence descended on them. Kathryn leaned back against him and he put his arm around her letting his chin rest on the top of her head.

"This is nice," Kathryn murmured. She had imagined sitting like this with him so many times. "Is this real? Can we do this?"

"It's real," Chakotay smiled at her whispered question, "If this was a dream, we wouldn't have any clothes on."

She slapped his chest. "One thing at a time."

He trapped her hand against his chest, "I have one more question I want to ask you."

She stiffened slightly before answering, "Well, go ahead and ask. You know I'll answer you."

"Oh, I know you will," He paused. "When exactly did the effects of the truth serum wear off?"

Kathryn pushed away from him sitting straight up, "You knew?"

He nodded, the laughter rolling out of him at the expression on her face. "Well?"

Her shock faded and her half smile appeared as she gave her confession, "Since sickbay."

He continued to chuckle at her.

"The Doctor called me earlier while I was in the ready room and ordered me to go to the holodeck and engage in something active." She explained.

"Like sparring with Klingons?" Chakotay supplied.

"Exactly. He didn't explain it at the time in case it didn't work, but he thought the increase in adrenalin and endorphins would help expunge the remnants of the serum from my system." She said. "So when I showed up in sickbay, the Doctor had been expecting me, but he wasn't expecting me to show up with a broken nose."

Chakotay frowned as the image of Kathryn with blood dripping down her chin flashed through his mind. "So he gave you a clean bill of health?"

She smiled again, "That's how I found out the serum was almost worn off. I didn't automatically answer his questions when he started sputtering about my face. I couldn't completely ignore them, but I was able to evade answering them directly. I made him fix my nose before I would tell him how it happened. It felt really good to give him a hard time. I think he regrets my recovery."

"I can understand how he feels," Chakotay grinned.

"Well, anyway, he had a solution that was able to erase the final remnants of the serum. It wouldn't have worked earlier, but it was strong enough to eliminate the weakened serum," She said and sat back against the couch. "So how did you know?"

"When you walked in here tonight, you were relaxed. All day today, and since your return from the planet you've been like a tightly coiled spring ready to jump," He explained. "Tonight, you were the calm cool Kathryn Janeway, and not the Captain at red alert with no shields."

_'I was anything but calm.'_ Kathryn nodded at his comparison but remained quiet. Chakotay didn't miss the pained look that crossed her face as she studied her hands.

"Kathryn, what are you thinking?"

She looked up and shrugged, "I just never used to consider myself a liar. I always thought I was pretty straight forward with people, and said what was on my mind. But you're right. I knew tonight that I could avoid any question that I didn't want to answer. I could even lie if I wanted, and that brought me a great deal of comfort. God, Chakotay that really makes me…"

"It makes you human," Chakotay interrupted and completed the sentence for her.

She raised an eyebrow at him, "I didn't tonight though."

"Didn't what?"

"I didn't lie." She said taking his hand in hers, "I meant everything I said tonight."

He kissed her hand, "I know."

She smiled and leaned back against him again, "So what was that about today?"

"What do you mean?" he asked innocently.

"You forget Chakotay, I know you pretty well too. I trust you and know that you would never take advantage of me."

He nodded still smiling.

"That being said, you've stressed me out all day today and you know it."

"But I didn't question you directly," He said. "I was very careful about that."

"So, why all the hinting and implications?" She asked. "I jumped every time you spoke to me today."

He grinned, "Were you surprised by any question I asked you tonight?"

"Not really. I've been obsessing since last night about what we could possibly discuss tonight," She sighed. "Needless to say, I didn't sleep well last night."

"I could tell. The entire bridge crew could tell. Sorry about that," He said. "But it was for a reason."

"And what was that reason?"

"I hoped the serum would work on questions you asked yourself."

_'You thought, I didn't know that I loved you.'_ She understood. "You knew I'd be up last night obsessing?"

He nodded. "Did you come up with any answers last night?"

"None that I didn't already have."

That surprised him, "Really?"

She nodded, "I didn't have any revelations, but I reinforced to my head what my heart already knew."

"Then why were you so jumpy today?" he asked confused.

"I wanted to choose when I told you how I felt. I didn't want my declaration to be the result of what some alien culture did to me." She sighed. "However, the experience did help me realize something."

He waited for her to continue, but when she didn't finish her thought, he prompted her, "Kathryn, what did you realize?"

"I was tired of hiding," She said softly but with conviction. "I was standing behind a tree on the holodeck waiting for the opportune moment to strike, and it hit me that I've been doing the same thing in my personal life. I've been ready to tell you for some time now, but I kept waiting for that perfect moment."

_'A perfect moment in the Delta Quadrant to express your love? That could've taken the full seventy years.'_ He snorted at his own thought and then realized something. "Kathryn, if you knew you were going to tell me tonight, why did you wait for me to ask?"

She looked down not answering, but he could see a smile on her face, "Kathryn?"

She looked up and he was thrilled to see the mischievous twinkle in her eyes, "A girl likes to be pursued."

He let out a bark of laughter, "Kathryn, I've been pursuing you for over six years."

She settled back against his chest again, "Well, I've been told I have a stubborn streak."

"Stubborn as a Klingon is putting it mildly," He laughed again.

She poked his chest. "Be nice or I'll include you in my sparring program."

He chuckled again and then was silent, enjoying the smell of her hair and the way it tickled his chin. Kathryn had almost dozed off listening to his heartbeat when his voice broke into her daze.

"Kathryn, are you still awake?" he asked quietly.

"For now," She answered. She could hear the mirth in his voice despite his whispering. "Why?"

"When we were first starting out on this journey, I asked you if you would've served under me if our situations had been reversed."

"Mmmhmm," She had her eyes open now.

"If I had repeated that question to you yesterday," He continued. "What would your answer have been?"

_'Should I tell him?'_ She smiled into his chest not looking up at him, "Can you imagine that? I'd be the only first officer that always got the last word."

"Kathryn?"

"I'd make you take shore leave."

"You're avoiding the question."

"I'd never let you lead away missions."

"Kathryn."

"I certainly wouldn't let you fly any shuttles," She giggled. "Too dangerous."

Chakotay sighed, "You aren't going to answer the question are you."

_'I would've served under you.'_ Kathryn closed her eyes again and answered him, "I would've been content to serve as your first officer."

Chakotay thought about that for a moment before responding, "Liar."

Finis


End file.
